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文書點評:安德森商學院申請文書

2013年02月21日來源:美國留學網作者: 萬佳留學
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By serving as a noncommissioned officer in theUnited StatesMarine Corps, I learned and developed valuable leadership skills that would prove crucial to my success as a leader and to my ability to gain the respect of my subordinates. The Marine Corps places great emphasis on leadership characteristics, believing that great leaders are not born, they are properly trained. I submitted to grueling training on my way to becoming an officer in the Marines, and believe this training gives me the foundation of strong leadership skills that I will need in every day corporateAmerica.

Leadership in the Marine Corps is more complicated than the simple management of employees. I learned this lesson the hard way, being thrust into a management position as my unit was being shipped over seas during the Persian Gulf War. As a newly promoted Corporal, I was given the job of night crew supervisor in charge of 15 other marines. In the Marine Corps, leaders are not only held accountable for the work getting done but also for the performance and conduct of their marines. At the age of 21,I had the responsibility not only to carry out my orders but also to safeguard the personal lives and protect the general welfare of my men. This being my second time over seas, I understood many of the difficulties that a young marine can have on their first extended trip away from their family. I enjoyed helping my marines over come their problems, and learned that the benefits were well worth the time that I invested. I discovered that employees who have the support of their management tend to be more focused on the tasks at hand, gaining levels of trust and loyalty that can only benefit the organization.

Related to this issue of gaining trust and loyalty through management supportiveness is that the Marine Corps requires creative means to motivate subordinates. It can be very difficult at times to be in charge of individuals, yet have no direct control over their salaries or advancement in the organization. The government decides military salaries, and promotions are controlled by boards with the primary means of measurement being time in service. For this reason, I learned to manage through mutual respect. I believe it is much more important to gain the trust and confidence of your employees than to use direct compensation to motivate them.

Throughout my Marine Corps career and beyond I developed many strong leadership skills, but most of all I learned that to be effective as a manager one must remain focused on the human aspect of leadership. By concentrating too much on the goal and not on the people needed to meet it, leaders risk alienating their employees and thus failure in achieving the goal itself. By leveraging the lessons and qualities I gained while serving as an officer in the Marine Corps, I hope to meaningfully contribute to the academic environment at the Anderson School of Business.

點評:

本文是一篇表現了leadership skills的優秀文書,可以顯示出作者是一個具有管理能力和技巧的MBA候選人。

1.文章結構

文章只有四段不到500字的篇幅,可以分成總分總三個部分。第一部分總起說自己在海軍培養到了領導能力。第二部分就具體說自己得到的是什么樣的領導能力。第三部分再次強調自己的領導能力,表達要進入安德森商學院學習的決心。

2.文章內容

文章一開頭就描述自己在海軍得到了寶貴的領導技巧。吸引讀者往下看究竟是何種技巧那么重要。在文章的第二部分,作者通過描述作為一名海軍軍官所肩負的責任,以及他怎么處理上司與下屬的管理關系的技巧,得出相互尊重,人性化是管理的訣竅。

3.總體評價

MBA文書向來要求簡潔凝練,觀點集中,這篇文書首先就滿足了這些要求。領導素質和技巧有很多,但是不可能在一篇文書里全部表現出來,因此就要選取一個別人不太可能有的素材來展現自己某方面的領導天賦。作者選取的素材是他在海軍作為一名軍官的經歷。在文中作者不是體現自己如何有能力帶兵打仗,而是把這段經歷提升到自己注重管理人性化,與下屬相互尊重,從而可以達到良好的管理效果。

4.可借鑒因素

文章可借鑒之處就是簡潔明了,主題明確,選取的素材并不是常人可以經歷到的,還有就是從不平凡的經歷當中提煉出一種獨特的觀點。本文中作者得出的管理之中注重管理之中的人性因素,相互尊重比用獎金激勵員工更加具有效果的觀點就是比較獨特,常人不是很容易想到的觀點。

譯文:

作為美國海軍的一名軍官,我學會并且培養了寶貴的領導技巧。因為這種技巧對于我成為一名成功的領導者,得到下屬的尊重來說是至關重要的。海軍對于領導特質的培養很重視,他們相信領導者不是天生的,而是經過恰當的訓練得到的。我歷盡磨練成長為海軍的一名軍官。我相信這樣的訓練培養了我的領導能力,而且這種能力在我以后每天的工作中都是需要的。

在海軍作為一名領導者比簡單的員工管理復雜得多了。我是經過艱苦的學習培養了自己的領導能力。海灣戰爭的時候我被委任到海軍的領導層。作為一名新提拔的下士,我的工作就是帶領一個15名成員的夜間行動部隊。在海軍里,領導者不僅僅要負責任務的完成,還要負責士兵的表現。在我21歲的時候,我肩負的責任不僅僅是執行任務,還有就是要確保下屬的生命安全和福利。這已經是我第二次出海了,我明白一個年輕士兵首次離開家鄉出海會遇到的許多困難。我很樂意去幫助下屬克服困難而且我也明白我的付出是有價值的。我發現那些支持管理者的員工會更加關注手頭的工作,對于公司的信任和忠誠也會得到加強。

與通過支持管理者而產生的信任及忠誠相關的就是海軍要求創新方法去激勵下屬。在一個公司管理員工是非常困難的,因為薪水和提拔都沒有統一直接的控制。而政府決定了部隊的薪水,提拔也是由委員會根據服務時間的長短來決定的。因為這個原因,我通過相互尊重來管理。我相信去獲取年輕員工的信任和信心遠比通過獎金來激勵他們更為重要。

在我海軍生涯之中我培養了許多領導技巧,但是最為重要的是我學會了要做一名高效率的經理必須注重領導當中的人性化。假如領導者過于注重目標而忽視實現目標需要的員工,他們將會與員工漸行漸遠并最終達不到目標。我希望在海軍中作為一名軍官學到的領導技巧和平衡能力可以為安德森商學院的課堂作出應有的貢獻。

 

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