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文書點評:病中的爺爺——Sick Grandfather

2013年02月21日來源:美國留學網作者: 萬佳留學
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From massaging his arm to simply keeping him company, I tried to assist my grandfather in any possible way after a stroke had left his left arm partially paralyzed. As I observed the multitude of treatments and therapies he underwent to revitalize this arm, I often found my eight-year-old mind wishing that I possessed the medical skill and expertise to help him. In a way, then, my grandfather was my first patient.

I harbored this curiosity towards medicine throughout my junior high and high school years and began to seriously consider making it my career when I entered college. Due to this abiding interest in science, I decided to major in biology and passionately engrossed myself in the department's courses. Seeking practical experience in the field, I joined a research team studying the developmental effects of Ataxia-telangiectasia, a recessive genetic disease characterized by growth retardation, abnormal germ cell development, immune defects, and a high incidence of tumorgenesis. As part of my independent study project, I cloned a specific version of the p53 gene. Through this endeavor, not only did I realize the replication, caution, and patience integral to the research process, but I also garnered an understanding of the ways in researchers can employ science to study clinical problems.

Although science has always fascinated me, it is the interpersonal interaction that primarily draws me to the medical field. This persistent desire to help people culminated in concrete action three years ago when I assumed my first volunteer position in the emergency room of Mercy Hospital. My duties there included assisting with patient admissions and discharges, serving as a liaison between the busy staff and visitors, stocking supplies, and delivering patients and materials to various areas of the hospital. When not directly assisting the staff, I listened attentively to the patients' concerns and helped to alleviate their fears.

Such interactions with patients at Mercy Hospital reconfirmed my aspirations of becoming a physician and encouraged my decision to begin another volunteer position. As a volunteer at Vitas Hospice, I have relished the opportunity to provide companionship to terminally ill patients. I have always enjoyed spending time with the elderly; nevertheless, I never cease to be amazed by the vast amount of knowledge and life experiences they relate to me. For example, Mrs. A -- a remarkable102-year-old lady -- enlightened me with the details of Black Tuesday and her personal memories concerning the state of the country when the Titanic sank. Another especially memorable experience occurred on a fishing trip with Mr. C. After the doctors diagnosed him with COPD, Mr. C.'s last request was for a volunteer to take him fishing. As I still vividly recall the jubilant excitement on Mr. C's face as he cast his line repeatedly into the open water, my memories are tinged with the bittersweet reminder that Mr. C passed away three days after our fishing trip.

I always imagined that I could learn much from my patients as a doctor. My experiences at Vitas Hospice have confirmed such inclinations and have infinitely increased my love of medicine. I thus remain determined to achieve my goal of becoming a physician. I have taken the MCAT twice, having earned high science scores the first time but having desired to improve my score on the Verbal Reasoning section. Although my verbal score did improve on the second test, I feel that my performance on this section still reflects the fact that English is not my first language. I did not learn to speak English until my parents and I immigrated to the United States when I was ten years old. Following their examples, I have since learned the value of hard work and have successfully earned straight A's during the last three years of my college career.

I am confident that I will achieve my goal of becoming a physician. Through my vast array of volunteer experiences and conversations with my uncles and other physicians, I have accrued a solid understanding of what a position in the medical field entails. While I understand that a career in medicine requires a great deal of work, I am certain that I possess more than the requisite commitment and stamina to meet the challenge. Having reflected extensively on the comfort I have provided to and the knowledge I have gained from patients in the past -- from the time I took my grandfather's seemingly massive arm in my own inexperienced eight-year-old hands, to the day I recently accompanied Mr. C. on his final fishing trip -- I can now look forward to gaining a greater understanding of the technical aspects of medicine and further cultivating my interpersonal in the future.

點評:

這篇短文介紹了自己的在醫學方向的一些職業經歷,結合自己對未來的職業發展方向和興趣做出了進一步的闡述和期望,表現了作者在一些方面的熱情。使讀者可以清楚的了解到作者的所要表達的寫作意圖。文章開頭就以自己的爺爺經歷為啟示,說明自己在工作中的責任和收獲。文章的結尾再次提到了爺爺的事情,前后得到了呼應,使閱讀者有了一個總結性的感受,并且了解到作者是一個很有工作經歷的人和深厚的專業熱情的人。文章條理安排得很不錯。

譯文:

病中的爺爺

從按摩他的胳膊到簡單地保留他公司, 我設法用任一個可能的方式協助我的由于中風之后導致左胳膊部分地麻痹的祖父。當我觀察了他使這條胳膊復蘇的許多治療和療法, 我經常發現我的八年的心愿是我擁有醫療技巧和專業技術幫助他。在某一方面, 然后, 我的祖父是我的第一名患者。

我有了這對醫學求知欲導致在我的初中和高中歲月過程中當我進入大學的時候開始認真地考慮讓它成為我的未來的職業。由于這遵守的興趣在科學上, 我決定了選擇生物專業,并全力地學習系里的課程。尋找在這個領域的實踐經驗, 我參加了研究小組,這個小組研究的是不整齊毛細管擴張、由于成長阻滯導致的一種隱性基因疾病, 反常生殖細胞發展、免疫缺陷, 和瘤的高發生的發展作用。作為我的獨立研究項目的一部分, 我克隆了p53 基因的一個具體樣式。通過這努力, 我不僅體會復制、小心, 和耐心的對待研究過程,并且獲取了理解在研究員能使用科學學習臨床的問題。

雖然科學總是使我著迷, 這是主要吸引我的是對醫療領域的人際的相互作用。這個堅持欲幫助人民在具體行動的時候達到了頂點。 三年前當我在慈悲醫院急診室擔任了我的第一個志愿者位置。我的責任包括的協助病人入場和放電, 擔任在繁忙的職員和訪客, 庫存供應, 和提供患者和材料對醫院的各種各樣的區域之間進行連絡。當不直接地協助職員, 我會去聆聽病人的擔憂和幫助他們緩和恐懼。

這樣在慈悲醫院與患者相互交流再確認成為醫師志向并鼓勵我的決定開始從事其它志愿者的位置。作為在Vitas收容所一個志愿者, 我有機會陪伴一些患絕癥的患者。我總喜歡花時間與年長的人在一起; 然而, 我從未停止被他們浩大的數量和與有我關系的知識生活經驗而感到驚奇。例如, 夫人A —— 一個102 歲的夫人——以黑星期二和她的關于當泰坦尼克沉沒的時候國家的狀態的個人記憶細節啟迪我。其它特別難忘的經驗發生在與C 先生的一次釣魚。在醫生診斷了他與COPD 之后, C.'先生的最后的請求是讓志愿者帶他去釣魚。當我仍然能生動地回憶起當魚線不斷如水時C先生歡騰的興奮的面孔, 我的記憶仍然淡淡的記得C 先生釣魚以后的三天逝世帶個我的苦甜的提示。

我總想象, 作為醫生我能從我的患者學會很多。我在Vitas 收容所的經驗證實了這樣傾向和無限地增加我對醫學的愛。因而我仍然堅定要達到我成為醫師的目標。我參加了MCAT 兩次, 第一次我獲得了科學部分的高分,但我希望提高我在語文邏輯部分的成績。雖然我的語文部分成績的確在第二次考試的時候提高了, 我認為, 我的表現在這個部分的成績仍然體現了英語不是我的第一種語言的事實。知道當我十歲和父母移居到美國的時候我還沒有學過英文。用他們的例子, 我后來學會堅苦工作和學習使我成功地贏得了在大學的后三年成績A等的成績。

我是自信我將達到我的成為醫師的目標。通過大量的志愿者的經驗和與我的伯父和其它醫師的交談, 我累積了對在醫療領域堅實理解。當我獲悉在醫學的事業要求有很多工作, 我肯定, 我擁有更多比必須條件和接受挑戰的熱情。廣泛地反省我對患者提供的舒適和我從前在患者那里獲得的知識——從握著我爺爺的表面上結實的胳膊在我自己無經驗的八年的手里, 到那天我最近伴隨C先生在他最后的釣魚的時光——我現在可能盼望獲取對醫學的技術方面的更加深刻的理解和促進培養我的人際關系。

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