Statement of purpose which includes applicants reasons for undertaking graduate work, explanation of study interests, and their relation to the applicant's undergraduate study and professional goals.
點評:第一段是一個單獨的部分,是全文內容的總結,介紹了文章中自己所介紹的內容,使閱讀者可以不看文章,先了解到里面的大致內容。開篇方法比較新穎。
The decision for me to become an industrial relations major was not really my own, I have to admit. My uncle, a human resource manager with Welch-Ally, spent the majority of every holiday gathering throughout my senior year of high school trying to dissuade me from becoming a business major. He would tell me, "This is a rare undergraduate degree and a growing field." Then he would frighten me by saying, "We have very similar personalities, so you would be a fantastic H.R. manager." Eventually he convinced me that it was my best option. And I haven't regretted it.
點評:第二段介紹他選擇這個專業時,家里的反對,選材比較也特點。主要是為下文做鋪墊。
Although I credit my uncle with inspiring my initial decision, my constantly growing interest in this field and desire to continue my education has grown from two sources: the Industrial Relations faculty at Lemoyne and my vocation as a martial arts instructor for almost five years. From my professors, I have learned the practical side of my intended profession: the multitude of laws protecting worker's rights in the workplace, procedures for collective bargaining and arbitration, and how compensation systems function. My job, on the other hand, has helped me acquire the "people" skills that are crucial to being an effective H.R. manager. In the course of a normal workday, I must communicate with a diverse group of people ranging in age from three to seventy-two years old. Each student has unique needs and goals that I must identify and pay attention to. I must constantly evaluate students and give them constructive feedback, walking that fine line between support and criticism. At the same time, I delegate tasks to the less senior instructors and class helpers, while helping them improve their teaching skills. It is challenging and constantly educational. These two sources, my professors and my job, have succeeded in transforming a disinterested college freshman into a senior who has a focused career path.
點評:這段是全文中比較關鍵的一個點,是一個轉折點。作者通過自己自身的體驗和理解,在實踐中真正認識到了這個專業的作用和重要性,從不理解演變成喜愛上這個專業。寫出了作者對專業的認識和作用,乃至決定申請更高的學位,進行深入的學習。
My ultimate career goal is to be a general human resource manager or recruiter for a high-tech or pharmaceutical company. These are industries in which I foresee great potential for growth in the future. I enjoy every aspect of my major, and I look forward to the variety of tasks and obstacles I will face as an H.R. manager. The prospect of interacting with people on a daily basis appeals to me immensely in a job. Working as a recruiter likewise interests me because it would involve convincing potential employees to work for my company. This is precisely what I do at my current job. It is my responsibility to make new students feel at ease, develop rapport with them quickly, and then sell our program's values and benefits. All of my experience would be relevant and useful to a career as an H.R. manager.
點評:這段作者描寫了一下自己通過學習后,對職業的展望和目標。同時體現出了畢業后,自己在專業上的提高和對職業的幫助,自己利用所學知識快樂工作,享受工作的愉悅。是作者對今后就業和職業目標的認識體現。
Cornell University represents an attractive program for me because the curriculum is practical and many of the classes utilize computers and software specifically designed for human resources. Also, a Master's degree from a well-respected program like Cornell would be essential in helping me achieve my goal of working for a large, possibly Fortune 500 company. I ask that you examine my grades to see the discrepancy between my Freshman/Sophomore and Junior/Senior years. The change reflects my growing interest in industrial relations and my ability to balance working almost full-time with being a full-time commuting student. If accepted, I will bring to Cornell a strong academic background in human resources and hands-on management experience. I am extremely committed to my career goals, and I believe that attending Cornell will help me fulfill them.
點評:最后一段沒有什么特別的,是傳統的結尾方式。主要就是說一下說一些學校好,和自己畢業后的目標及改變。
點評:
文章大綱:
本文從結構上來看,主要分為四大部分,第一部分是第一段和第二段,主要是為下文作鋪墊,從側面反映出選擇此專業的決心;第二部分是第二段,是文章的核心,通過寫自己的實際經歷,展現了自己喜愛上這個專業的過程和對專業的認識。體現了相關的專業背景和優勢,不僅層次感很強,而且描寫得很細致。第三部分是第四段,激情澎湃的展現了自己運用所學知識在工作中的表現,使文章升華到達高潮。第四部分是結尾,作者結合自己的職業理想直接點明康乃爾大學此項目的優勢以及我的加入能帶來的價值,同時大膽的給自己的職業目標進行了規劃。
中心思想
文章以作者不顧家里反對,選擇專業,認識專業和喜愛專業為主線,展開一系列的描寫。很好的體現出了自己喜愛上這個專業的原因和決定把它定位自己職業目標的過程。
素材取材
取材全部是自己的親身經歷,選材合理,真實生動。全文主要圍繞自己的興趣展開,這是貫穿全文的一條主線。
本文立意
本文開篇就先點明了全篇的內容,整篇文章是以作者追求和奮斗的過程立意的。
可以借鑒的地方
本文邏輯合理,語言簡練,思路清晰,雖然跨專業申請,但很好的體現了自己的興趣,學習經歷,同時很自然的把自己的經歷跟申請專業結合。選材方式很合理,體現了自己的相關優勢。值得借鑒。
譯文:
這篇個人陳述中包括了我申請研究生項目的動機,興趣的介紹,本科階段專業學習背景與申請項目之間的關系,和我的職業的目標。
選擇勞資關系專業起初并不是我自己的想法,我必須承認。我的叔叔是一位資源管理經理,他用大部分節假日時間,來試圖勸,讓我主修商科。他告訴我,“這是一個非常杰出的學位、一個正在成長的領域”。當時他還用諺語嚇唬我“我們有非常相同的性格,因此你將成為一個很好的人力資源經理。”最后他確信那將是我最好的選擇。那樣我將沒有任何遺憾。
雖然我相信叔叔最初給我灌輸思想,但后來,我在這個領域逐漸增強了興趣,繼續學習愿望也增強了。主要來自兩個方面:勞資關系的才能和我將近5年的武術教師的職業。從我的教授那里,我學到了這個職業比較實用的一面:在車間,勞資雙方針對工資等問題進行談判、仲裁,賠償制度的職責,所有這些方面多數法律是保護工人的權利的。我的工作,在另一方面,已經幫助我學到了人力資源管理這方面的技巧,這對于我成為一個出色的人力資源經理是至關重要的。在正常的工作期間,我必須和不同的人群交流包括3歲到72歲的人們。每個學生都有不同的需求和目標我必須識別和注意。我必須經常的評價學生并且給他們建設性的反饋,在支持和批評之間要有獎罰分明的線路。同時,我給少數的高級教師和班級助手委派任務以便幫助他們提高教學技能。它是負有挑戰性的和教育性的。這兩個來源,我的教授和我的工作,已經成功的轉化成了一個無私的學院,即新生進入更高一級的職業通道。
我最終的職業目標是成為一個人力資源經理或者招聘人員,針對那些高科技或者藥物公司。這些行業是我預知的將來最有增長潛力的行業。我喜歡我專業的每一個方面,我期盼任務的變化,及作為一個人力資源經理我將面對的障礙。工作中與人相互影響的前景無限,吸引著我。作為招聘人員同樣的使我產生興趣,因為令人信服的,有潛力的職工即將為我的公司工作。這正是我目前所做的工作。使新的學生感到自由自在、迅速的與他們發展和諧的關系,然后出售我們的項目價值和利益,這是我的責任。所有我的這些經驗對于一個人力資源經理的職業生涯都是相關的和有用的。
對于我來說康乃爾大學的項目對我表現出了很大吸引力,因為它的課程是實用的,并且多數上層社會,利用計算機軟件特定的設計來做人力資源。而且,來自康乃爾大學這個非常受尊敬的學位項目,將從本質上幫助我達到我要進入世界500強公司的目標。我要求你們檢查我的等級以便了解我的大學三年之間的差異。這個差異反映了我在勞資關系方面正在增長的興趣和平衡全部工作時間的能力。如果我被你們接受,我將帶給康乃爾大學堅固的人力資源理論背景和我的管理經驗。我非常的終于我的職業目標,我相信參加康乃爾大學將幫助我實現我的職業理想。
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