Seasons

There is one Haitian proverb that has never lost its potency, despite the atmosphere of economic adversity, numerous civil wars, and political unrest: “Piti, piti, wazo fe nich li.” Literally, the phrase means, “Little by little, the bird builds its nest”; figuratively, it stands for building one’s way, “little by little, ” toward one’s goals in life. To further understand the saying’s significance, we should first consider the nature of birds. From tailor birds that suture leaves together to some hummingbirds and pee wee wrens that use lichen and spider webs to build their nests, we can see the resourcefulness birds demonstrate in obtaining nest-building materials. My life has been a similar process of building a metaphorical nest -- acquiring such qualities as compassion, dedication, and leadership through a variety of experiences to prepare for a successful career as a physician.

As a bird builds through changing seasons, I too have prepared for the study of medicine through variously themed “seasons” in my life. During high school, for example, I focused my activities on serving the various communities of which I am a part. After joining Mt. Olivet SDA Church, I became involved with the community of Asbury Park, New Jersey -- participating in an anti-drug rally and health fair, leading local public speaking events, singing in church choirs at nursing homes, and visiting hospitalized church members. In these activities, I experienced both the rewards I hope to gain and the challenges I expect to face as a physician.

Two representative relationships -- with Sister Flowers, a cancer survivor, and Brother Dill, who later lost his life to a heart condition -- illustrate the key lessons I learned. Deacon Dill’s military experience made his biceps big and his grip strong; an exuberance for life perhaps accounted for molding strong cheek muscles and dimples when he smiled. Though his ailing heart would not stand up to the measure of these other qualities, his funeral evoked his strength and his humility, allowing him to leave on an inspirational note. Last year, Sister Flowers was diagnosed with cancer. Trying to maintain her graceful smile and hopeful eyes in the midst of her weakness, she continued to hold her frail hand out for prayer, symbolizing an unwavering faith for better times to come. As I look ahead to my career, I recall Brother Dill’s legacy and determination and Sister Flowers’ testimony and rejuvenated smile. Having been immersed in the needs of my church’s urban community, I have seen countless such cases that inspire me to continue my service in underserved areas on a greater plane as a medical doctor.

The next season required me to leave my comfort zone and engage in introspection and self-learning at Rutgers University. My first real exposure to ethical questions in medicine would be through an insightful course in my first year of college: "Ethical Issues, Religious Responses." In this class, we discussed mainly Judeo-Christian schools of thought regarding such controversial topics as cloning, in-vitro fertilization, abortion, and euthanasia. This class forced me to apply my own morals to some practical medical issues, as I mentally placed myself in the shoes of a physician and tried to determine how I would act in these situations. Searching for ways to contribute more immediately, I have taken the role of president of our school’s newly founded Minority Associatio of Pre-Health Students (MAPS), a chapter of the Student National Medical Association. Through example and active guidance, I hope to help younger pre-meds build their confidence as well as increase their social awareness, as we prepare together to face the challenges that medicine holds in store.

Within the past two years, the most recent season, I have found a reawakened passion to learn through my work in a biochemical laboratory. My job was to investigate the role of toxins in the progression of melanoma, particularly to understand the role of the Aryl Hydrocarbon Receptor (AhR) Pathway and how it can be stopped in order to slow down or altogether halt the metastasis of melanocytes. This exposure to research showed me how the science I studied could be practically applied and how research could ultimately be responsible for sustaining human life.
My range of experiences has provided me with the perfect materials with which to strengthen my nest, from the inspirational lessons of community service to the academic vigor of engaging lab work. I look forward to transforming my success into direct aid for others, for in restoring or maintaining the health of my patients, I will give them the chance to work toward building their own dreams, their own nests. As the Haitian proverb illustrates, to have endured hardship and to have worked my way toward the triumph of seeing lives changed because I persisted -- this is what it means for me to have succeeded as a physician; this is, in fact, what it means for me to have successfully built my nest.

點評：

這篇文章最突出的地方就是立意新穎，從海地的諺語成功的引入到自己的生活經歷。把諺語做為整個文章的線索把整個文章串了起來。并且全文很嚴謹的圍繞著這樣的一個中心在寫。可以說中心很明確，邏輯思維很縝密。一篇好的文章不僅僅是文字上的優美，并且還在于整個文章邏輯上的嚴謹，思路上的清晰。看文章的人一看到你這樣的文章至少知道你這個人的邏輯思維能力是很強的。在很多學科當中對邏輯思維能力要求都是非常高的。我相信一個沒有邏輯思維能力的人或者說是一個邏輯非常混亂的人是很難在任何方面做出成就的。可能在藝術方面會有所成就的吧，開玩笑的。所以學校在招生的時候是很重視這點的。因為有很多人是海外的申請者，這些申請者的英文水平比起英國人美國人來說可能會差很多，所以單純的文字優美不足以另文章變成一個很好的申請文書，也不一定會競爭得過那些母語是英語的人。

這篇文章不是沒有弱點。比如說，雖然他用一些事情在描述或者說表達自己的意見，但是事情敘述得不是很清晰，這些點讓人看得不是特別的清晰。

譯文：

季節的輪回

盡管經濟不景氣，很多的內戰和政治的不穩定,有一句海地的諺語卻從未失效: "Piti 、 piti, wazo fe nich li。 " 字面上的意思是 " 鳥一點一點的建立它的巢"; 形象的比喻了建筑這個巢的過程, " 漸漸 ，一點一點的" 向著生活的一個目標。 為了要更進一步了解敘述的重要性，我們應該首先考慮鳥的性質。 裁縫師鳥和鷦鷯蜂鳥一起縫合樹葉和使用青苔的和和蜘蛛網建立他們的巢，我們能見到鳥在獲得巢方面示范的機智。 我的生活已經是建筑另外一種巢的相似程序 --透過準備成為一個成功的醫師并最終獲得多種經驗，如同情、奉獻和領導的質量。

象一只鳥一樣跟隨季節的變化和建巢，我也要為我要學習的醫學而做一些準備和變化，這也是我的季節變化。在高中，比如，我參加了很多的社團活動。當我參加了Mt. Olivet SDA教堂后，我接觸了Asbury Park社團的相關活動，新澤西--- 一個抵抗毒品的集會和健康時間，領導當地的公共演講，在護士的家里唱詩，拜訪就醫教堂成員。在這些活動中，我不但得到了我想要的酬勞，也同樣得到了我想要面對的挑戰。

兩個典型的關系----藉Flowers，一個和癌癥做斗爭最終勝利的人，和Dill 就是那個在之后由于心臟病去世的人，來說明我從這些活動中所學到的東西。Deacon Dill 的從軍經歷使他非常有力氣并且非常的強壯。當他微笑的時候，一個健康的生活也許解釋了成型強壯的肌肉和酒窩。當他心臟病嚴重的時候以至于不能站立的時候那些因素就變成了其他的元素。但是他的葬禮喚起了他的力量和他的謙遜,讓他在一個帶有靈感的印記離開。去年Flowers被診斷出患有癌癥。在她的軟弱面前他試圖保持優美的微笑和充滿希望的眼神，她用她柔弱的手接著祈禱，堅信她可以戰勝一切。就象我規劃我的未來一樣，我回憶起Dill的遺物和決定還有Flowers的陳述和永遠不變的笑容。我在都市社區教堂的需要中被浸, 我已經見到數不盡的類似情形以致于激發我想作為一位醫生在服務不周到的區域中繼續我的服務。

我的下一個季節需要我離開我舒適的窩并且進行自我提升和自我學習在Rutgers University。我第一次真正涉及到醫學的道德問題是在我學院學習的第一年中通過一個叫做“倫理的議題,宗教性的反應”這樣一堂課上。在課上，我們主要討論了Judeo-Christian學校，試管嬰兒，克隆，流產和安樂死。這個課程致使我去接受我在接受醫學方面的道德，就象我經常想象我是一個內科醫生，如果這樣的情況我到底要怎么處理。尋找一條路去貢獻更多，我已經成為了我們學校新建立的Minority Association of Pre-Health Students會的主席，一個學生負責的國立醫學協會。透過例子和指導，我希望幫助比較年輕的醫學預科生建立他們的信心和增加他們的社會感, 當我們一起準備面對即將到來的醫學學習的時候。

在過去二年，最近的季節之內，我發現了我再度覺醒的在一間生物化學的實驗室中學習激情。 我的工作將調查毒素在 melanoma 的反映中的角色, 特別地了解 Aryl 碳化氫受容器 (AhR) 的角色路和它能如何被停止，是為了要減慢或者全部使 melanocytes 的轉移停止。 這個研究告訴我了應用學習科學如何實際地和研究以及可以如何最后負責維持人類的生活。

我的經驗已經為我的巢提供了最好的建筑材料, 從社區服務的課到學院實驗室的工作。 我想把我的成功直接轉變成我對別人的幫助, 為了在幫助我的病人恢復健康，我將會給他們機會向搭建他們自己的夢,他們自己的巢。 當做海地的諺語舉例說明, 到忍耐艱難的工作和朝著我自己的方向去努力親自看著生命在改變因為我的努力----這就是我剛剛所說的成功。這事實上，這個意思就是我會成功的建筑我的巢。